10 robots you secretly have the hots for
3rd Jun 2009 | 11:30
These aren't robots. They're woah-bots! (Sorry)
Top five sexiest femme-bots
Sexy is a word that's often abused in technology.
How often do you read in reviews that a new mobile phone is 'sexy'? Or a laptop? Or a router?
But there's an exception: robots. Robots really can be sexy, especially when they're fictional and played by living, breathing, pouting lovelies.
To mark the release of the film Terminator Salvation, here are ten robots that we (and you - go on, admit it) want to rub with WD-40.
Hit page two if man-bots are more your thing.
5. Cherry 2000
Pamela Gidley in Cherry 2000 (1988)
Despite the best efforts of Melanie Griffith and Lawrence Fishburne, this 1988 clunker was no Terminator. Nevertheless, when you're casting someone as a sex robot you're not going to hire a pig-faced horse frightener - so Cherry was played by the rather lovely Pamela Gidley, who's since turned up in CSI and Twin Peaks.
4. Number Six
Tricia Helfer in Battlestar Galactica (2003)
In the original TV series, the Cylons looked like Daft Punk - but in the remake, they're much less camp and considerably scarier. Number six is no bag of bolts, though: she's a humanoid infiltrator, designed to mimic the human body perfectly. Luckily for us, the body in question didn't belong to Johnny Vegas.
[Image: Universal Pictures]
3. Annalee Call
Winona Ryder in Alien Resurrection (1997)
No, it's not the best Alien film. And no, it's not the best haircut Winona Ryder's ever had. But come on, it's Winona Ryder! Everybody in the film fancies her. Even the aliens.
[Image: 20th Century Fox]
2. Terminator X
Kristanna Loken in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
The Terminator X - not to be confused with the Public Enemy DJ - can take any shape it wants, so naturally it decides to be a blonde-haired blue-eyed hottie in red leather. Now that's girl power.
[Image: Warner Bros]
Summer Glau in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (2008)
How good is Summer Glau? She's so good that we'll happily ignore Sarah Connor's endless moaning and the fact that Glau is so thin her arms couldn't contain a Duracell battery, let alone a robot skeleton. She's gorgeous, and she rocks a short skirt in a way that - thankfully - Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't.
Top five sexiest man-bots
Robots could be the perfect boyfriends. Either shiny metal-skinned 'bots, or living, breathing (and in danger of short-circuiting) androids.
We're not fussy, heck, we'd settle for the robot from the Beastie Boys' Intergalactic music video, as long as he could take the rubbish out every night.
Still, if Isaac Asimov had included a fourth law stating "a robot must allow full use of its USB stick if requested by a female human being, in accordance with the Second Law", here are the five we'd offer a spare port to.
5. Gigolo Joe
Jude Law in A.I: Artificial Intelligence (2001)
True, Jude Law has been proven to be a cad by 50% of the population, but that doesn't stop our knees trembling when we see him strutting his stuff in A.I: Artificial Intelligence. He reportedly took inspiration from Fred Astaire for the role, and seeing him dance to old-time classics makes the fact that he's a male prostitute (in the film, we mean) melt away like the inch-thick make-up he's wearing…
4. Hero robot 1, Hero robot 2
Peter Hurteau, Michael Reich, Electroma (2007)
Technically they're two robots, so it's a question of whether you prefer gold or silver. Or, to offer more detail on your future love interest, a robot on fire, or a robot blown to pieces. The product of French electronica duo Daft Punk, Electroma follows two drainpipe-legged, motorcycle-helmeted robots on their quest to look human, set to lovely blip blop music.
3. Roy Batty
Rutger Hauer in Blade Runner (1982)
Whilst the Dutch actor Rutger Hauer is certainly a looker in Blade Runner, it's Harrison Ford who really stands out as the eye candy in the film. But, as the verdict is still out on whether Harrison's Rick Deckard was a replicant or not, we'll have to settle for Roy Batty. Intelligent, handsome and overwhelmingly dangerous, we're sure we could don a leather dog collar and impersonate his girlfriend Pris if he wanted.
2. Samuel "Longshot" Anders
Michael Trucco in Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Apologies for the spoilers, if you haven't watched to the end of season three – but the rugged Longshot is a cylon, thus making him a perfect candidate for our list. Having endured a marriage to the headstrong Starbuck for many years means he's probably well equipped to take orders from a woman who knows exactly what she wants from him.
1. Robotic double of Ted
Keanu Reeves in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey (1991)
A flashback to the days when wearing checked flannel shirts and basketball caps backwards was acceptable, there's nothing more appealing than Keanu Reeve's evil robotic double Ted. Literally saving the flimsy plot from crashing and burning around their hightop Adidas-bedecked feet, Reeves' robotic Ted may not impress Asimov, but certainly looks good to us.
Liked this? Then check out 9 bits of scary Terminator tech that already exist
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