Top 10 movies we would hate to see in 3D
14th Dec 2010 | 17:56
Don't butcher our childhood dreams, Hollywood!
Don't get us wrong. We love 3D movies. Yet there are some modern day classics and childhood favourites that we really hope and pray we never have to sit through in 3D. As such, we implore Hollywood not to butcher our celluloid memories and childhood dreams with poorly-executed 2D-to-3D conversions of the following movies.
Ever since seeing Bugs 3D! at the London IMAX way back in 2003, as well as the more recent Tinseltown 3D blockbusters such as James Cameron's Avatar and the family-friendly gems coming out of Disney/Pixar such as Up and Toy Story 3, 3D camera and projection technology – when handled correctly – has gradually become an essential component of making and enjoying blockbuster flicks in the last decade.
The latest era of 3D has moved so far on since the dreadful anaglyph days of Jaws 3D that it's still amazing when a friend or colleague or family member tells you that they haven't yet seen a modern 3D movie.
Still, all that said, these are the top 10 movies that we really hope Hollywood doesn't remaster into 3D.
C3DPO? No. He wasn't called that. And there was a reason for this. We would urge Mr Lucas not to destroy what made cinema magical for a whole generation by giving the 'holy trilogy' a much-unneeded 3D makeover.
We would urge that, if he hadn't already announced that 3D versions of all six films are coming. We'd just as soon kiss a wookiee.
"Norman? Is that you Norman? Did you get that nice new shower-curtain from B&Q?"
Making a 3D version of the Godfather trilogy would be like re-writing Shakespeare, but in an e-reader friendly format for idiots.
Nobody wants to experience the pain of having to see a man give birth to an alien bursting out of his stomach. So why would anybody care to see that in Dolby-surround-sound Technicolor 3D? Umm, actually…
An extended five-minute bad trip in 3D you say? No thanks, Mr Hopper!
The Wizard of Oz
Let's leave our childhood nightmares of the witching hour and flying monkeys firmly in over-saturated 2D Technicolor please… Pleeeeeeeease…
Super Size Me
Do-gooding documentaries are hard enough to swallow at the best of times, but we really don't need to see a man do a burger sick in a bush in three dimensions.
There is no question that Mr Spielberg will be releasing some great movies in 3D in the future, but there are a few from his past that might best be left in 2D, this being at the top of this list, closely followed by ET. Close Encounters of the Third Kind, however…
It's not nice to be punched hard in the nose until your beak breaks and blood spatters across your noggin. Particularly by an angry and well-fed Robert De Niro. So let's not make it any more painful than it already looks in glorious 2D black and white arty-vision, eh Marty?
Requiem for a Dream
See Easy Rider, above. Then times it by a hundred.